Hugs and Pokes

Chocolate Banana Cake

2011-12-02T20:32:00.001-08:00

I baked a cake today. Happy Birthday Mum!

My School Leaver's Hoodie

2011-11-09T19:05:00.000-08:00

NZSSOT 2010-2011 God's Full Salvation Song

2011-06-13T04:23:00.000-07:00

God's dream is for us to be filled with Him as life to express Him
We became God's enemies, but Christ's death saved us.
We were deadened, ruined and corrupted,
But we are being saved in Christ's life, much more, much more.

For if we being enemies were reconciled to God
Throught the death of His Son, much more, much more.
We will be saved in His life,
Having been reconciled, much more, much more.

Case For My External Hard Drive Crochet

2011-06-01T02:11:00.000-07:00

Some Old Crocheting

2011-06-01T02:02:00.000-07:00

Ain't Misbehavin'

2011-05-12T05:20:00.000-07:00

No one to talk with,
All by myself,
No one to walk with,
But I'm happy on the shelf
Ain't misbehavin',
I'm savin' my love for you

I know for certain,
The one I love,
I through with flirtin',
It's just you I'm thinkin' of.
Ain't misbehavin',
I'm savin' my love for you

Like Jack Horner in the corner
Don't go no where,
What do I care,
Your kisses are worth waitin' for
Be-lieve me

I don't stay out late,
Don't care to go,
I'm home about eight,
Just me and my radio
Ain't misbehavin',
I'm savin' my love for you

-Fats Waller

With A Little Help From My Friends

2011-05-10T13:37:00.000-07:00

What would you think if I sang out of tune,
Would you stand up and walk out on me?
Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song,
And I'll try not to sing out of key.
Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, I get high with a little help from my friends,
Mmm, I'm gonna try with a little help from my friends.

Do you need anybody?
I need somebody to love.
Could it be anybody?
I want somebody to love.

-The Beatles

Peter Panda Dance

2011-05-07T04:09:00.000-07:00

When you're down and low, lower than the floor
And you feel like you ain’t got a chance
Don't make a move 'til you’re in the groove
And do the Peter Panda dance

Just hop three times like a kangaroo
Side step twice just like the crabs do
Three steps forward, one step back
Quick like a turtle lie on your back
Roll like a log till you can't roll no more
Better jump up quick like there ain’t no floor
Hold your breath and
Jump to the left
And that’s the Peter
I swear that’s the Peter
That’s the Peter Panda Dance

Good night Peter Panda

from The Pacifier

If Only

2011-05-02T04:06:00.000-07:00

If only, if only the woodpecker sighed

the bark on the tree was just a little bit softer

while the wolf waits below, hungry and lonely

he cries to moon, if only, if only.

Holes - Louis Sachar

I Am Alone

2011-04-27T02:22:00.000-07:00

I didn't expect myself to be so lonely so soon. I've been lost in the world, and I haven't even taken a step outside my own house since I arrived on Monday. I've got a headache, and I just feel so alone. Mum hasn't bee helping either. So far, all she's cooked since I got home, was a side dish of egg with chives, and a can of soup. I've been living on soup cans, instant pasta, instant noodles, rice and canned corned beef (which I cooked properly) since I got here. I feel so sick. I need a hug. Mum is constantly yelling at me to do stuff, including cook for her when she's hungry, and make a fire when she's cold. It feels like everyone is angry at me for some reason, as no one will talk to me. I've got 90 unused texts and around 2 weeks to use them. I strongly doubt I will use them in time. Meh. I have no social life. I am a hermit. But I don't want to be. How I wish I wasn't so alone!
Mum took a bath today. Made me think about what it would be like to drown. If I were to voluntarily drown myself, wouldn't it be quick? All you would have to do is inhale the water. After a few seconds, it would be all over. Or you could just keep drinking until you can't drink any more. It would hurt a bit more, but would still be quick. I know I shouldn't think about these things, but how can I help it? My life here is miserable. I want it to all go away.
If I am so likeable, why won't people talk to me? If everyone likes Poke, why is no one ever talking with him? Why does he sit apart from everyone else? Does he choose to? The answer is yes. I do choose to sit away from the group. Not because I am being antisocial, but because I want someone to notice. I desperately want someone to notice that I am different. I am not the typical boy who hangs around idiots, being an idiot, talking about games like an idiot. If no one can see that in me, then I simply move away. That is why at school, I have been around my friends less often, and just go to the music department. At least there it is peaceful. I can be in a place where there are over 1700 students, and have an entire classroom, with a piano, all to myself, where I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just don't fit in. It has been years and years since I have, and even then, I was still different. I tell myself I am unique, and I am, but I am just too different that no one understands me.
I am alone in this place. A fish living in death.

Super Sayan Jessie

2011-04-21T04:12:00.000-07:00

When Pokemon meets Dragonball Z

Music - All or Nothing

2011-04-20T05:12:00.000-07:00

Music. The thing people call my talent. A dangerous art. One that can make or break you. You can climb through the ranks. Even be great at it. Become top in your town. But once you enter the real world, you will find that there are countless people out there trying to make their way past you. This is when you must decide: How far do I go?
In the end, the final question is "All or nothing?" You can choose to spend 10 hours a day practising at your chosen instrument. You can choose to spend 12 hours working away at manuscript, or 6 hours writing your thesis on musical aspects of so-and-so. Or, you can stop. You can kiss goodbye all those gruelling hours of torture and money to half-learning how to play an instrument. All those hours studying for a test in music theory or musicology. If you're going to throw it all away, why not include your collection of CDs, from Bach to Bieber. Those are your two options.
This is the question which is coming closer to me each day. One which I cannot avoid. One I will have to answer. I have been a musician for over 10 years now. More than half of my life. At the end of this year, I will have to choose. Do I continue music or not?
I am afraid. My instincts say no, but my guilt says yes. The profession sure is feisty. I am far from good enough. I am nothing compared to my friends, compared to the academy/conservatory students, compared to the stars, or compared to the 'greats'. Only a handful of musicians are internationally recognised. Do I have the potential to be one of them? I think not. But my mother thinks yes.
This is something that makes me hate you, mother. The way you guilt trap me into doing things for you. In this case, it's music. I'm sick of this. I never asked to be the quiet Asian kid who sits alone by the piano during lunch times, and practises at every second he gets. If only you could see what I've become when you're not around. You always tell me that I should take the opportunities as they come, because they will not be there forever, and it is a waste if I don't take them. Even when I say no, you make me do it. Even when I say I hate it, you make me do it. You don't even ask me how I feel about it. You think you know every part of me but you don't. You make me sick of music.
There is one thing I advantage to music. The friends I have made are truly life-long friends. Ones that will not forget me, even in my darkest times. That is what I am thankful for. It's too bad my mother thinks you are all socially disabled, due to being home-schooled.
I see no future for myself in music. Then again, I see no future for myself whatsoever. Is there really any point in my trying to spend the rest of my life being 'good' at music?
With all this pressure from teachers, adults, friends, who say I am already a top musician, I feel guilty in letting them all down. I feel sad to know that they are sad. Yes, I know I should be more selfish at a time like this, as it is my future, but there will always be that feeling inside me to please.
Music. It's dangerous. Just be thankful you are on the receiving end of its beauty.

Welcome to my Extras

2011-04-20T03:13:00.000-07:00

This blog is going to be alongside my current blog "Poked About". It will be even more free, a place where there are no limits. I may not post regularly here, and will not have a set length of post to aim for. It will just be me at the times I feel like I need to say something more.
Happy reading.
Poke